Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
