I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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