Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize