i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
My bed smells like the plague
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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