Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
