you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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