I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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