JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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