Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize