He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
