guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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