where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
