Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
