onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
