on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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