Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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