There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
