Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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