I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
