ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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