Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
