do herpes really smell.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
