Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
