i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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