i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Panties = found
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