dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
