How'd it feel making her break her religion?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
