i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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