I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
