You're so nebulous sometimes
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
