Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
