My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize