Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Randomize
