Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Two words: nipple clamps
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