It's just like the Real World with babies
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Randomize
