how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
