i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
