I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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