omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Randomize
