The maid of honor just puked.
I cockslap morals
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
