but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
