my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
he just fucked me for my cheese.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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