Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
