so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
