id be glad to
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
this just has baby written all over it
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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