Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize