nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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