do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
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