Having a random hookup so left but love u
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
The power of my boobs compel you
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
