The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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