Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
