I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He? As in you personified your dick?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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