tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
