Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Terrible idea I love it
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
