I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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