Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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