Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize