I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
