Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
