I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
