Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
