Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I think your dad took our porno
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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