Porn is love you can see.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Randomize
