Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Randomize
