Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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