If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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