I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
