dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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