Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
