How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
there is glitter all over my balls
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