Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
