we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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