I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize