friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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