omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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