9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
