Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
