just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
