I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
