Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
