Having a random hookup so left but love u
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
