Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
